syncing music between devices

I have synced iPod, Nano, iPad and PC, yet there are songs missing from each. This has led to duplicate purchases as a song will show up on one device and not the other(s). Also, I have a Mac mini in another location. Can I sync it remotely? It seems like I should be able to sign in from anywhere, on any device and access my data without all of this syncing business.

iPad

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